Several years ago, my mother had fallen into bad health. It got to the point where she needed to be in a nursing home full time. She didn't put up a fight about it, I think she's just accepted it and "it is what it is".
This is probably going to sound mean and selfish, but sometimes it was a real CHORE to have to take care of things for her. I mean, 95% of the time I was ok with it, but sometimes I just didn't want to have to deal with any of it. She was in an apartment by herself and wasn't taking care of herself, so not only was she sick, but she wouldn't clean herself either, so that made it even harder to want to go over and be with her. She ended up in the hospital and from there went to the nursing home. I am happy to say that she is doing well and continues to handle her situation the best she can.
Now it has turned to Matt's parents. Matt's Mom is 70 and his Dad is 75. Mimi has always had physical issues, but things got really bad after she had neck surgery in December. She had to wear a halo until late March and since has been losing sensation in her arms and legs. She's at the point where she can't do anything for herself and it is so hard to watch my father-in-law lift her and do things he probably shouldn't be doing. All because she doesn't want anyone else to do it but him.
Matt got a little frustrated with them last week and I really wanted to yell at him, but I remembered my frustration with my Mom, so I let it go.
It's a whole new world when you have to start planning for real for the "what ifs".